me:i comfort myself with the fact that in a zombie atk, they'd be primo targets and i could probably gtfo.
michael:tall people run fast.
me:tall people trip easily.
michael:less steps, less potential for tripping. i don't know where you found that statistic.
me:lanky bodies, less coordinated. also shorties are deceptively cute. $20 i could mindfuck a tall person into thinking they were safe before tossing them in front of a zombie as a human shield.
michael:i've watched far too many zombie movies to be so easily fooled. i'm zombie-proof. i have a zombie survival guidebook that i borrowed for entertaining reading from a friend. i know which weapons are lightest and strongest, which locations would be best for tactical fighting advantages to food sources.
me:[redacted] taser.
michael:wtf does that do
me:knocks you out long enough for me to get away.
michael:there is no way i'd let you do that to me and leave me as bait. plus that'd be a terrible move. i'd be able to keep you alive.
me:no choice. & i don't trust you in a zombie atk. i can keep myself alive.
michael:let's be real. in any case of a zombie attack, you and i would never be in the same party due to geographical locations anyway. besides i have perfect situational awareness. i learned it from sterling archer, the world's most dangerous spy
me:it's true. we'd probably end up meeting in the final refugee camp or whatever. & that's nice, but who has good aim and knows how to use a gun. end result of this convo = in case of zombie atk, everyone should run the hell away from the both of us.
